noirenewyork | "Lately I'm a desperate believer..."

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"Lately I'm a desperate believer..."

Who: Luka Delaney and Molly Pierce
What: "There's no changing yesterday."
Where: Knightshead Liquor, New York City
When: Thursday evening

Luka had become a stalker... but it was truly just by accident and out of desperation than anything else. The one person he wanted to talk to in New York City, and she was apparently the most infuriatingly elusive woman to reside in the massive place. Or New York was easy to blend in to. He had a feeling it was the latter more than anything. He had her name, but nothing else and it had to be a relatively common name too. There were about five thousand M. Pierces in the New York phone directory. It didn't help that Luka was flying blind and had no idea about this huge city beyond the fact it was as full as fuck of weird people (who probably thought he was just as weird) and he was freezing his arse off. He came from a scorching Aussie summer to this, and he wasn't a fan. But he really was desperate, so he purchased and iPad and then hooked up to the Wi-Fi in his hotel room to start Googling her.

There wasn't a lot, but there was something. She was, in some way, connected to Benjamin and Eric Knight, founders of a company called Knightshead Liquor that had headquaters here in New York City. That was enough for him for now, and hence his transition into creepy as fuck stalker. He was embarrassed for himself really, but what other option did he have?

It was evening, the sun set a short while ago and send the City that Never Sleeps into darkness, and therefore more freezing as fuck weather. Luka was standing on the sidewalk out the front of the Knightshead Liquor skyscraper looming above him. He lit up a cigarette, leaning back against the wall with one foot resting on the marble façade behind him. He was a bit of a mixed bag in his appearance. Black leather pants that laced at the front, black Ugg Boots, a pink sequinned t-shirt under a purple velvet couture jacket. His curly hair had gotten long against, hanging in his eyes that were lined with guyliner and he was in a shade of lipstick that complimented his complexion. Even if, these days, his complexion was pasty at best.

He lost track of time waiting, but as soon as he spotted the woman finally exiting the building, he pushed away from the wall and intercepted her path. His cigarette was only about half-spent, so he held it out and away from her but wasn't willing to just put it out. "You killed my best friend," was his blunt greeting, his Aussie accent blatantly obvious.

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Days like today were the kinds of days when Molly didn't really know whether she was going or coming. There was, as usual, a ton of business to attend to, along with the joys of being Sire to a new Childer with a serious Brujah attitude. She adored Jett. She really did, but the truth was that she very simply was learning as she went how to be a Sire to a Brujah Childer. She was nearly 300 years old and had never Embraced anyone before Jett, if only because her life had always been such that she thought that adding a Childer in the mix would be too much. She was hardly footloose and fancy free as Primogen of her Clan, but the responsibilities of that didn't allow for too much free time. Still, when she'd first heard of Jett's heroic actions in saving one of his comrades in the line of duty, it had left no doubt in her mind that she needed to find this kid. And when he'd been injured himself beyond the ability to live a normal life, there was no doubt in Molly's mind. She never would've taken him against his will, but she couldn't let someone with that much inner strength suffer without at least giving him the knowledge and the option to change it.

Molly was always very aware of what was going on around her -- it was a Kindred trait, one that was especially well honed when her lover was the Prince of the City. She had to know her surroundings. So she saw the young man smoking close to the Knightshead building. She was on the prowl for a feed, but something told her that this kid was looking for her, and when he stepped out in front of her, that was that question answered quickly. The accent was unmistakable, and she crossed her arms over her chest, taking in the young man's attire with a tired huff. She was hungry, and not really in the mood for a confrontation with a mortal tonight, but he seemed very fucking serious about this, and she wasn't going to just blow him off. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, darling. Are you sure I'm who you're looking for?"

Luka took one last, long drag on his cigarette to finish it off and then threw it on the ground to stamp out with his foot, turning his head to blow the smoke away from her. "Very sure. I saw you do it. And you're going to do it to me too," he told her. He had no idea really what 'it' was yet. He had overheard the entire conversation and then had stood there, pressing the back of his fist to his mouth when he listened to her do something called Embrace to him that led to Jett flatlining and then soon after being wheeled away in a body bag. As if Luka didn't already have enough nightmares plaguing him from his service in Afghanistan, now he was having bad dreams about watching his best friend be carted off in a body bag. But then, Luka was pretty fucked up, so there was that.

He stayed standing right in front of her, head tilting expectantly as he waited for her to respond. His dark curls flopped into his eyes and he raked them back with his fingers. "I'm a huge pain in the arse, so I'm not going anywhere until you do."

Oh, fucking hell. This was seriously the last thing in the world Molly could've expected, and definitely the last thing she needed. There was no doubt this kid was friends with Jett, between the accent and the fact that he seemed to have at least some level of knowledge of what had happened the night her Childer was Embraced. But if he thought that she'd killed Jett, why would he want that, too? Was she dealing with a suicidal mortal, or just a kid who had no clue what the fuck he was dealing with? She really couldn't be entirely sure, and that was an awkward place to be in and of itself. "You must be confused. In fact, I'm certain you are. I haven't killed anyone, and you most certainly didn't see me do it."

But this young man wasn't going anywhere. He was fucking well convinced that he knew what was going on here, and he had every intention of things going a very specific way for him, even if Molly wasn't sure what to do with that. "Listen, honey, you're young, and you're very cute, but you have no idea what you're asking me."

Now Luka was just getting frustrated she was trying to brush him off. It was starting to feel like how his father always treated him, and that really wasn't a raw nerve she would be happy about poking around at much. His father was what seemed to trigger all his bad feelings, emotions, and reactions. But he couldn't let her give him the brush off. He had nothing to lose, and he wanted this. He wanted his friend back, he wanted to stop feeling like he did inside. "I'm not confused. I saw you, I heard everything you said to him. I want you to do that thing to me. That... that... engulf... no, no..." He snapped his fingers, trying to put his finger on what it was she called it. His brain was drowned in painkillers, it wasn't as fast on the uptake as it used to be. "Embrace!" he said triumphantly.

"Embrace. I just don't want to go in a body bag. I'm kind of claustrophobic these days. Even with airholes, I'd probably lose my shit." He really didn't understand that bit at all. The word they got back home was that Jett was dead. Luka had gone to his funeral and all. "I heard you tell him he could be immortal, live forever, with complete use of his body again. Mine's fucked, so I figured, what the hell?" he added, taking his smokes out and putting another between his lips to light up. So, maybe he had a bad smoking habit on top of everything else too. He put his hands on her arm. "Please? Please, you have to help me."

Edited 2014-02-01 08:48 (UTC)

There was no question now that this young man knew the truth. Molly had been so certain that the area had been clear, even asking a nurse on duty she knew to be Kindred to ensure that no one was given a visitor pass to come down to Jett's room. But apparently, this guy hadn't bothered with a visitor's pass, and had come down anyway... just in time to hear what Molly and Jett had been discussing. As soon as the word "Embrace" was out of his mouth, Molly knew what she was dealing with here wasn't some mindless kid who thought he knew something he didn't. He did know. And Molly wasn't sure whether to clear his memory of it, or truly give him a chance to prove himself. There was one thing she knew for sure though -- she wasn't prepared to be Sire to two newly Embraced Brujah. One was more than e-fucking-nough for her.

"No one is going to put you into a body bag," she assured him gently. "Jett was only put into one so that I could get him out of the hospital. There was no other way. If you're Embraced away from other people, darling, you won't have that problem at all. But there's one little problem. I can't Embrace you. I just can't. Jett is more than enough of a handful right now, and you... You could be just as headstrong and difficult as he is, and it seems like that's pretty likely. I want to help you, darling, but I can't Embrace you. I just can't."

"Fuck," Luka cursed and scratching his fingers through his hair again, ending with the grabbing a handful of it at the back of his head. "Why not? You did it to him. What difference does it make? It can't be that fucking hard. Where is he? I need to see him. He can tell me all about it. I mean, fucking seriously. I haven't seen him since his funeral. Do you know how weird as that shit is? My brain is already fucked up and then I see him dragged away in a body bag. Then? I had to fucking fly back to the bullshit place to go to his funeral, because if I didn't, I would have been even more of a fucking cunt than everyone already thought I was. Nevermind the fact I couldn't talk to anyone about the fact I saw some chick with cleavage up to here," he pointed to his chin, "top him and then watched him be dragged away in a fucking body bag."

He paused to take a breath, because his heart was racing and he was pretty sure he wasn't far off an anxiety attack. "All that after I nearly got blown up, and I still came out less injured than he did. I have a cunt of a father who thinks dick in arse is a disease, I got raped trying to just be who I really am, and then I tried to off myself and fucking failed at that too." He stopped again and pointed at her. "You know what? Fuck you. Fuck everything. I'll end it myself and I'll get it fucking right this time," he said and turned to stalk away from her.

This could not be happening right now. It just couldn't. Molly had far too much on her mind right now to be dealing with the best friend of an already difficult Childer begging for his own Embrace. "Listen to me, darling. I understand what you heard and what you saw. And I know that it seems like it must be quite simple, but it isn't. Embracing someone is a commitment of time and hard work. You don't just Embrace them, and then it's all sunshine and lollipops. In fact, as little sunshine as possible is preferred. You're an Aussie, love. Sunshine is a huge part of your homeland... beaches and all of that. Is that something you want to give up? I'm not telling you that you're absolutely not going to be Embraced, because I can't make that call, but I can tell you I wouldn't be able to be the one to do it."

The poor guy's reaction floored her, though, and she stared at him trying to make sense of the steady flow of information that was coming at her, and just looked at him as he turned to leave before throwing her hands up to try and stop him. "Hey, wait!" she called out, reaching after him to grab his arm and try to slow him down. "Listen, I will not Embrace you. Of that much I assure you. But I'm not saying that I can't introduce you to others like me. And I will let you see Jett. Just... for the moment, will you calm down and talk to me instead of freaking out on me. It's going to be all right. And Jett's safe."

When she grabbed his arm, Luka turned to look at her, frowning. "There's nothing to talk about. Either you'll help me or you won't. Don't worry, I'm not going to run out and spill your secrets to anyone. I'm not going to be around long enough to do that, and anyone I talk to already thinks I'm a fucking mental case and won't believe me anyway," he told her with a sigh. He shook his head then, looking away over across the street, falling quiet while he went back to his cigarette. It was an awful habit, but the nicotine somewhat calmed him. He could really use a joint right about now, but he didn't even feel safe eating the crap-looking American food, let alone smoking their weed. What a way to go, though.

He ashed the cigarette and blew the smoke out quickly. "Look, I'm sorry for causing you shit and ruining your day, or whatever the fuck. Jett doesn't need me dragging him down in the shit pool. Just take care of him and tell him I said goodbye. He can be a pain in the arse, yeah, but just know it's because he's got a heart of gold inside and he'll lay his life on the line for anyone. That takes balls and no one with balls is a simpering wimp like me."

"I haven't said that I will not help you, have I?" she asked calmly. "In fact, by offering to introduce you to other Kindred, I have already given you the possibility of help. If I didn't want to help you, I could just as easily wipe your memory of everything you saw and make it so you wouldn't even know you'd seen anything. I am not concerned in the slightest about you sharing our secrets, darling. I am far more concerned about someone entering our world without fully understanding everything that entails. It is no simple thing. I assure you of that." It was difficult to explain to anyone outside their world just what all that meant for them. There were nights, even now as an older Kindred, that Molly sometimes still longed for the feeling of what it felt like to go out in daylight without fear. It was hardly something that ate her alive, but she definitely thought about it.

She paused for a moment, looking over at the young man in front of her. How the hell was she going to be able to convince him of what she was saying? He was so set on taking the Embrace. So after only a moment's pause, she gripped his wrist that much more tightly and pulled him into the nearest alley. She shoved him up against the nearest wall, realizing full well that he was probably terrified, considering that she'd ended his friend's mortal life herself. "Can you do this?" she asked, her fangs bared and her eyes a dangerous silver. "Can you take people away from the light? Feel them shivering with pure fear as you hold them hostage, fully prepared to keep yourself alive by drinking their blood? Because this? This is part of the life you're asking for. I am not refusing you, but I intend first to be very, very sure that you are ready for everything you ask. Do I make myself clear?"

Most people would probably be terrified, but after the things Luka lived through in Afghanistan, and the fact he was pretty distinctly fucked in the head because of it these days, all that intimidated him the most about this was being held against the wall and it was very rapidly dragging him back to the time he got raped in a back alley. "Let go of me, or I'll scream blue fucking murder," he warned her quietly, not fighting at her at all. "I know you're trying to scare me, but right now, all I'm feeling like is that you're about to rape me, so let me the fuck go."

The longer she held him there, though, he was reflexively trying to fight her off and he was starting to panic. A lot. "Let me the fuck go! Kill me if that's what you're trying to fucking threaten me with! I don't fucking care! Am I making myself clear? You know nothing of my life, or what it's like to live it, so don't fucking tell me what I do or don't want, bitch! Don't touch me! I don't want to be fucking touched! So, I'm not fucking good enough for you to save where Jett was! Fine! I get it! You're just like my fucking cunt of a father! Leave me the fuck alone then, you're not scaring me, you're just pissing me off!"

Edited 2014-02-02 10:46 (UTC)

If there was anything in the world that could've shocked Molly, this was definitely it. She had expected fear, certainly, but not for the reason that Luka was clearly thinking of. He was having post-traumatic reactions, not due to what had happened to him during his time at war, but due to the fact that he'd apparently been raped at some point. He was terrified, and she could feel all of the extreme levels of emotion rolling off of him as they stood there. "I'm not going to rape you," she assured him quietly. "I've no intention of doing that to you or anyone else. But I need for you to understand fully what you're asking me for."

She quickly and carefully let go of Luka, but kept a firm grip on his wrist to keep him from running away. "Don't leave," she insisted, holding his gaze with her own and tapping into her Presence to calm him. He was terrified and angry and hurting, and there was nothing any human being would've been able to do to help him right now. But Molly was far from human, and her eyes met his calmly and held his gaze. "I do not want to kill you, or even to harm you," she assured him. "I only want to explain to you that the Embrace is no simple thing. Jett is difficult. A handful. He's extremely intelligent, as I can tell you are, too. You are far from being not good enough. Do not think that I am judging your capabilities as one of our Kind should you be Embraced. But I cannot take on being your Sire, because I'm already a Sire to a new childer. I need you to remain calm, darling, so that I can take you to a place where you can meet others like me, and see Jett. What is your name anyway?"

Once she let him go, Luka reflexively just took a couple more steps away from her to afford him a little more personal space. He pulled his jacket tightly around him and then crossed his arms over in front of him. He looked at her, gripped by another wave of confusion and basically not knowing what the fuck he was doing anymore. It was why he wanted to stop doing it entirely. He was messed up, mostly psychologically, but also physically. He was in constant pain from complications with his knee surgery and now he was hooked on way too many painkillers, and not just prescription either. Whatever he could get his hands on. "Luka," he told her hesitantly.

If he was honest, he was now terrified to see Jett. He wasn't necessarily terrified of her, because like he had said, if she wanted to kill him, he wouldn't care. That was how much he had lost hope and hated existing. Ever since he was born, he had felt like the mistake he had been. He should never even been conceived, and he wouldn't have been if his fucking father used a condom when he was fucking his secretary on his desk cheating on his wife with her. He just wasn't sure anymore how he would cope if Jett had changed dramatically. Jett had saved his life. He had been the only one there for Luka through all the shit with his father. He was his rock. "Jett's not difficult. He's a hundred times the guy I am. He looks at the world differently. He has done ever since he nursed his dying mother on his own when his father was deployed and she didn't want to tell him she had cancer. If he's a handful, maybe it's because now for the first time in his whole life, he's allowed to think about himself for once? That's what you need to get about him. I have never known him to put himself first. Ever."

"He's very special to you, isn't he?" she asked gently, trying to keep Luka calm. He'd obviously been more than a little upset by this whole exchange so far, and he at least deserved someone to speak to him calmly and at least try to help him make sense of things he'd seen that many mortals had never even imagined. "I know this is hard for you to understand, but he's special to me as well. I share a bond with him by being the one who Embraced him. He's like a younger brother to me. Just a very headstrong one that is hard to know what to do with on occasion. I'm learning, though. As is Jett." She peered at Luke, really sizing him up for the first time, and the pain coming from him was nearly crushing.

She didn't step closer to Luka, seeming to realize that he really did need his space to breathe and not feel like she was going to harm him, and she listened to him, giving him a chance to speak his mind. Somehow, she got the feeling he wasn't allowed to do that as often as he should've been. "As a Kindred Childer, he is difficult, I assure you. Not by any wrong doing, but because he's just learning what his freedom really allows him to do, and he wants to experience it all. That makes him a handful for me. Do not think that I see him as any less of a person because of it. It's just difficult. He is a good person, though. A selfless one in his life that I can see. You are lucky to have him as a friend, but it doesn't make being his Sire an easy task."

Edited 2014-02-17 05:39 (UTC)

Luka's lips formed a thin, tight line of defensiveness and his arms were folded tightly over his chest. She wouldn't have to be an expert or a genius to piece together the fact he was clearly very messed up. He wasn't aware that this point either that she would probably feel all that from him too. He would learn that his feelings and emotions radiated off him to Kindred, but for now, he was still so naive and oblivious to most of it. He just wanted someone to help him. He wanted someone to stop the pain. Why was that so fucking much to ask of people when it came to him? Why did no one ever want to help him? No one but Jett anyway. Jett had always been there for him, unconditionally. "You might think he's special to you, but you don't know him. There is no way in fuck you know him in that amount of time, and you can be sure as shit he will let you know it too." He had no idea how much of a pain in the butt Jett had been for her, but he did know Jett wouldn't let anyone take him for granted and he would want a level of mutual respect before he let them know him too.

"He is not headstrong or difficult," he added defensively, giving her a blue-eyed glare like she was nuts to suggest it. "He is just smart and if he's giving you a shit time, then maybe you should be wondering why. Because he is fair, and he is brave, and he cares for everyone else around him before himself. He's the only person in my life who matters anymore. He will cooperate with you as much as you cooperate with him. It's how he was raised. He didn't take shit and he wasn't a pushover, but he was never just an arsehole for the fuck of it."

Her hands raised in an expression of trying to calm Luka a little, she shook her head. "I don't want you to think that I'm insulting Jett. I'm not. At all. It is those very things about him that made me want to bring him into our world, and especially into my Clan. You will learn, if you spend time with us, that every Clan has differences, and people are often chosen because of their traits that suit the Clan of choice. My Clan is known for passion in pursuing their goals or defending their causes... Which can also translate to protecting the people that they love. You know that first hand."

She could tell, though, that Luka still thought her words insulting to his friend, and he couldn't fully understand, because he wouldn't know how Kindred instincts could interact with pre-existing personalities to create something entirely beyond what anyone expected. Jett hadn't completely changed, but his Embrace had only emphasized those parts of him that were so intent on doing the things he most believed in. The problem was, now that he was no longer at war and instead was simply learning the ways of the Masquerade, he had one very large problem in that he had no cause to focus on right this minute. He would be restless, because his blood, his very being would scream for something like that. "I know he's not. He's not really an asshole at all. He's just learning his way as one of us, and I'm learning my way in teaching a new childer. It's a learning curve."

It was hard to take anyone's word or intention at face value right now. He didn't know any of these people, or this Clan she was talking of. All he knew was that his best friend had been in a body bag, and couple that with the fact Luka already had PTSD issues, not just from the Army, but from the rape which led him to be forced to enlist in the Army, he just didn't trust people very much. With Jett, the trust had always been unconditional and it was proven in the way Jett had so reflexively and so selflessly saved his life at the risk of his own. Luka's blue eyes were watching her closely whilst his mind tried to figure out how he was supposed to feel here. So, she wasn't going to do to him what she did to Jett. For some reason... whatever. He was used to rejection. But now he had no idea what his next move was supposed to be now he was stuck all alone in this massive as fuck city and Jett belonged to another world now.

He rested his tongue between his lips, wetting them before he went to say something again. He had always been quiet and introverted, mostly down to the fact his father was a wanker who thought he should be seen and not heard. He internalised a lot, and it was obvious there was a lot going through his mind right now. Was it fucked up that he wasn't an iota of scared when she showed him her fangs, but absolutely terrified she was going to rape him? Probably. Only now, he was apparently going to tear up. A mix of jetlag and feeling extremely overwhelmed and scared. "How do I know you're not going to hurt him?"

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"Lately I'm a desperate believer..."

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