noirenewyork | "My love was blinded by you."

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"My love was blinded by you."

Who: Airlie Mackenzie and Alistair Wallace
What: "I'd spend a lifetime with you..."
Where: Greenacre Park, New York City
When: Late Thursday night

Airlie had only been in New York City two nights. There had been no hesitation on the invitation from Ealasaid to accompany her and Rory to America so she could catch up with people she adored - namely Xavier Carlisle - and Rory could see Logan. Airlie didn't know there was someone else in this City who was so deeply connected to her, however. She hadn't asked anywhere where Alistair was. She had gone into herself when he left and threw herself into her music, just existing to perform each night. However, she was unexpectedly eager to make the trip from Scotland but once she was here, she didn't know what she was feeling inside. It was a twisting and turning mix of feelings and sensations. Ealasaid had encouraged her to walk the City if she felt an inner urge to do so. Although, only with her and Rory on speed dial just in case.

She had no idea what drew her to this place, a quaint little park with a waterfall right in the middle of the City. She knew nothing of New York, and had only been here once before when she was on tour with Alistair. She didn't know this place existed, she just felt drawn to it and after finding the waterfall, she felt like she just wanted to stay there. At least, until the sun was soon to rise, and then she would have no choice but to depart.

There was no one else here due to the hour, and she was sitting on one of the little glass tables, feet on the chair and her head nursed in her hands as she watched and listened to the water cascading down in front of her. It was beautiful, and it was peaceful. For some reason, she needed to be here right now, and she hadn't thought to question why. It was just one of those things that was, and ever since she had been Embraced, she had struggled with those things in life.

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There was no way to describe the way that Alistair was feeling, short of just sheer restlessness. Ordinarily, at this time of the night, he'd be playing a show and hooking up with a feed after the fact. But tonight, for whatever reason, tonight, he didn't have a gig scheduled. He hadn't even wanted to leave the house at first, feeling the familiar yearning for Airlie that was buried deep inside him, but never really went away. He'd ended up going to a club, where he'd done what needed to be done with a girl who's hair wasn't quite the right shade of red, and whose eyes didn't pierce right through him and see his soul. Nights like this one, all he could do was long for her, and nothing was good enough to feed the hunger that still burned inside of him for her. And when that level of restlessness set in, there was nothing he could do but just stalk around the City in the darkness, seeking something -- anything that would give him even a hint of relief.

But for whatever reason, his walk through the City pulled him to Greenacre Park. It wasn't exactly a stretch for a Toreador, because it was a truly gorgeous place, but it was hardly somewhere that Alistair spent a lot of time. Just the same, something was pulling him there, because every time he tried to deviate from the path to the park, something in him seemed to grab him and pull him right back along. But as soon as he entered the park, Alistair knew exactly why he was here, no questions asked. He could feel here, smell her, sense her... He just knew she was here, and his eyes darted all over until they settled on her sitting on one of the tables.

Airlie might have found a small amount of serenity here, but in a City foreign to her, in an entire country even, her Kindred senses were ultimately constantly piqued. Which could be exactly why Ealasaid brought her here. She had been running scared ever since her accidental Embrace, in hiding, only coming out at night to known Kindred haunts in Edinburgh and otherwise sticking close to both Rory and Ealasaid because she feared herself. The things she was capable of scared her, and none of that was helped having her Sire out of her presence, even if she would have destroyed him if he was close so soon after her Embrace. She was angry with him, she had just hated him for what he did to her. Some may think there was no difference in that, but there was a massive distinction for a Kindred.

As soon as she was no longer alone in the sanctuary, her head whipped around, eyes silver and fangs at the ready. She had reacted to the presence first, and it was such a reflexive reaction too. She knew it was him before her eyes even pierced him. She didn't know why he was here and she was unnerved, baring her fangs at him just a little in warning just so she at least had some time to figure out what she was supposed to be feeling. Her biggest problem all those months ago was that her Kindred instincts kept intercepting her rational thought. It was actually Rory who suggested that Alistair best be taken from Airlie's presence or she would very likely kill him in a frenzy, or even kill an innocent, and no one wanted that. "Were you following me?" she soon demanded, her voice low with a dangerous edge, but she wasn't going all frenzied up in his face like she had been doing after her Embrace. The control was much more in her grasp thanks to Eala and Rory.

Alistair's eyes had immediately gone silver, too, but not quite for the same reasons. Airlie had always been the one Alistair loved -- the one he wanted, hungered for, needed more than anything to be with. He was her Sire, but more than that, they were soul mates, and even Eala had known it, which was why being apart from her, even after all this time, still drove him crazy. Usually, he managed to keep it together pretty well, but there were times where just her absence alone pushed him over the edge and into frenzy. But now she was here in front of him, and he felt the pangs of hunger kicking in all over again, even though he'd already fed. Since the day he left, she had always been a hunger he couldn't feed, an itch he couldn't scratch, a love he thought he'd lost forever. But here she was, and Alistair had to focus all his energy on not losing it altogether. If he hadn't just fed, it might have been worse, but as it stood, he held it together.

"No," Alistair assured her, his tone gentle. "I didn't even know you were in the City. Eala and Rory didn't mention that you were coming with them." His eyes met hers as he sought desperately to reassure her. "I was out tonight... had my feed and I was just going to go home and chill out, but something inside told me to come here. I've been... I've been restless. I didn't even know why I was coming here, but I guess... I guess I do now." He was quiet for a moment, trying to let it sink in with her that he was, indeed, telling her the truth. "I will not come closer to you unless you allow it, Airlie, but I beg you to allow it." Walking away from her after seeing her for the first time in so long would probably honestly drive him to the point of frenzy, and possibly harming someone, but if it was what she wanted, he would pour every ounce of his energy into walking away from her, just like he had when he left her in Scotland. His longing for her was so strong that every time he fed from a woman, he imagined it was her just to get a little relief, but it was never enough, because he knew the truth. He knew her taste, what it felt like to feed from her, how it felt to be inside her, and none of those he fed from or fucked was ever close enough. Because close enough still wasn't Airlie, and never would be.

Airlie swept her long red hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear so she could see him better. There was a distance between them and she slipped off the table so she was standing now, but she didn't respond to him immediately. Their relationship used to be so passionate, and she had known once upon a time that he was her true love. She had fallen so hard, but initially, she hadn't wanted to seem like all the other groupies who were hot for him and wanted a piece of him. In fact, she had inwardly chastised herself repeatedly for having a crush on him in the early days, but she hadn't been able to shake the draw he had on her. At all. In fact, he reciprocated it extensively. He would always want to be near her, he would send her flowers, bought her jewellery, and even gravitated towards her on the stage when he was performing at his many shows. Their time together had been like a whirlwind and when they were alone, it was like nothing else in the world existed beyond them.

Then he had fucked up, frenzied with her, and Embraced her. Airlie had known what he was. He had revealed to her not long after they started dating and even though she had been uncertain, she had acted as a Vessel for him for a brief time. Very brief, because it was like as soon as he got a taste for her, he couldn't hold back. Next thing she knew, she was waking up with fangs of her own, and a terror of him and herself. Initially, he was the perfect Sire. He took care of her, stayed close. But her terror of it started to turn to vicious hate of what she was and it exhibited in wanting to harm him. The only safe thing to be was to put distance between them, or she could have killed him, falling into many uncontrollable frenzies herself with the restlessness of being a childer taken against her will. After a long and lingering silence, she didn't move closer to him, but she held out her hand to him, albeit watching him closely and intently.

Being in her presence brought back so many memories that Alistair had long forced himself to bury. He would never forget the first time he'd seen her in auditions for his backup singers, and he'd been absolutely blindsided from the start. She was beautiful, but more than that, his soul connection had triggered almost immediately, and he'd been so drawn to her that it was almost uncontrollable. He had needed to be with her, desired her as he'd never desired anything else, and there was no question at all that she was his soul mate. There had actually been instances of the other female backup singers being jealous bitches because it was so clear to everyone involved that Alistair only had eyes for Airlie. Sure he fed from others, because it was necessary. Airlie alone could not be his only source of blood, or it would kill her. But when it came to love... to anything beyond a casual fuck and feed... Airlie was it. She was the one he wanted close to him. The problem had only come when he wanted to keep her too close and rational thought was lost in the frenzy that every Kindred was prone to on some level.

But before that, when things were good, they'd been the most amazing days of his life. There were nights onstage that they had shared the most amazing energy... made the most beautiful music, only to go to wherever it was they were staying and make the most passionate love of Alistair's life. They would lie together for hours, talking, just enjoying being with one another, and when Airlie would sleep, Alistair would often still lie awake next to here, listening to her breathing, or running his fingers through the ends of her hair. He was Toreador through and through, and things of beauty would always take his proverbial (but certainly not literal) breath away. It could be the greatest weakness for a Toreador... being lost in the beauty of something so much that you lost touch with reality for a while. That was never more true than when he held Airlie close to him. When her hand extended to him, that was all the invitation Alistair needed, and he was closing the space between them, albeit not too quickly, because he didn't want to frighten her or push his luck. Once he was close, his hand wrapped around hers, and as soon as they touched, every single one of his senses felt like they were on fire. Every emotion ever tied to Airlie inside of him came bubbling up, and it took the last vestiges of control he had not to break down in tears -- never a good look for a Kindred in public trying to explain why his eyes were bleeding to a random passerby. There was so much he wanted to say, but in the end, the only thing he could think of was, "I've missed you so much." It didn't seem nearly enough, but he hoped with everything in him that it wouldn't be the only thing he'd get a chance to say to her.

If there was one thing Airlie had had the luxury of by losing Alistair, it was Ealasaid. She had been amazing, and helped Airlie begin to find some sort of inner peace so that she wasn't just a danger to herself and everyone around her. She taught her all the traits of the Toreador, and took her under her wing like a daughter. Which was kind of a bit of a mindfuck for her, because that could technically make Rory like a stepfather to her considering Rory and Ealasaid had a clear connection. Airlie had only found out by mistake that Rory wasn't just Eala's protector, but sleeping together and he was her Vessel too. She had walked in on them right in the middle of a very passionate tryst, whilst it had been a shock, she was happy Rory finally had someone to love again... even if neither of them would admit it was more than just a Vessel arrangement. But Ealasaid had ensured Airlie didn't remain in constant torment and it was because of that that Airlie could let Alistair touch her now without going from zero to frenzied horror in two seconds.

Feeling his touch was like a rush. It was a high mortals would get from illegal drugs, only about a hundred times more intense. There had been a time or two that she found herself wondering what it would feel like to see him again, but she had never let herself linger on it too long because it sparked a lot of pain inside. She had been lost on her own. Eala could help teach her the tools of control and peace, but she couldn't replace the gaping hole of being separate from a soul mate. Only the soul mate themselves could do that, and until they did, both would feel torment and restlessness. Was this why she hadn't hesitated in agreeing to come here with Rory and Eala? Though her hand gripped tighter around his, bone-crushingly tight and this was the moment she could snap. She was still a young childer. But instead of attacking him, she pulled him close to her and kissed him, and the intense rush more than doubled with all those old feelings in their early days coming to the surface.

There was nothing in the world that could've prepared him for this feeling. It was akin to when he'd first met her, but far different, given the past between them. This wasn't just a recognition of a soul connection, but a rekindling of one that had once been shared beautifully and passionately, and was lost due to his own lack of control. Over the months since losing her, Alistair had convinced himself he would never have her in his life again, but had also tried his damnedest to build his control as much as possible, on the off chance she would ever be with him again. But there was nothing akin to being in her presence that would allow Alistair to truly learn that level of control. The ache, the loneliness, the restlessness, the feeling of never truly being satisfied... they all melted away when he was touching her again, and when she kissed him, there was nothing else he could've asked for in life. It was the first time in months that his soul... his very being... had felt at peace.

His arms wrapped around her, gently at first, but his embrace tightened to the point that he was pretty sure he was clinging to her, because he was afraid that, if he let go, he was going to lose her again, and this time he wouldn't get a second chance. He needed her close to him, and the distance between them had been a pain so crushing sometimes that he was sure it was going to kill him. Nothing in life was ever enough to satisfy him, because he belonged to her and with her, no matter how much it had been necessary to keep a distance between them for a while. His arms still tight around her slender form, he treasured every second of the kiss they were sharing, and when it came to a slow and gentle end, Alistair simply pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes opening to watch her face for any sign of what she was thinking. "Airlie," he murmured softly, one hand coming to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing against it softly. "My god, Airlie, I thought I'd lost you forever."

Airlie was somewhat lost for words at this point. Part of her was wondering if Rory and Ealasaid had known Alistair was in New York. If not Rory, Eala would have without a doubt, which probably meant Rory by default. Rory knew exactly 100% of all of Eala's business. Some made the mistake of joking that he was her bitch and usually ended up on the rude end of a pissed off Scotsman who never not carried a phosphorus revolver with him at all times. He wasn't her bitch, he was her protector, which meant he knew everything about her, and that included intimately. She was blindsided here and wary as a result of it. It was hard for her to shake that he had taken her against her will, but the aggression wasn't there that had been in the past. She just didn't know what was supposed to happen next.

"I-I dinnae... we dinnae..." she stammered, but she wasn't sure where the words were trying to take her. She paused and drew her lower lip between her teeth. On stage, she could have all the confidence in the world. Off it, her confidence had taken a beating. "You're here, I'm there. What is this even supposed to be?" She had no answers there. She was hitting a brick wall and was overwhelmed by what his presence was supposed to mean. She knew this wasn't staged or anything, because she had come here on her own fruition. But now what?

If Airlie didn't know what came next, Alistair was no help, because he was pretty damn clueless himself. All he knew was that she was here with him now for the first time in months that had seemed like small eternities. And the feelings were every bit as strong as he remembered, regardless of anything that may have changed. "I don't... I don't know all the answers, darling," he explained, shaking his head just a little. "I just... I know that I need you. I know that you're a part of me that can't be replaced." There was no real explanation to a soul bond. It was just something that was, and for some people they knew it as soon as they saw it, and for others they didn't know it until they'd lost it. For him, it was somewhere in between, or maybe it was that he'd lost it because he recognized it. Either way, she was here now, and he was still having a hard time believing it was even real.

"Are you... are you even really here? I feel like I must be dreaming or something, because I never thought I'd see you again." His hand still cupped her cheek and his control over the feeling that he was going to cry was lessening, though he was still holding the tears of blood in check for the moment. "I can't... I can't believe you're even here." There were a million and one things he wanted to do right now, starting with taking her home to his place and feeding from her and making love to her, and then just holding her close to him, but that really wasn't the best possibility at the moment. For now, it was first necessary to establish just exactly where they stood.

Airlie raised her chin just a little, looking at him closely and analytically. She had learned a lot about their Kind in this past year under the guidance of Ealasaid. That and the fact Rory would literally sick a rabid Kindred on anyone who tried to hurt her. For awhile there, he had accompanied her on searches for feeds, and guided her on how to do it without losing control. For someone who used to hunt Kindred in cold blood for what they did to his wife and baby daughter, he had no come a complete circle and was one of the most well-known Protectors and Vessels in the United Kingdom. No one messed with Rory. He knew how to lure the strongest of Kindred and put them in danger in the blink of an eye. There was even a rumour that he had lured a whole gang of rebel Brujah into a trap where they were slaughtered for just attempting to take Ealasaid down.

"This is Eala's doing," she replied, though she couldn't be irked at her Prince. Ealasaid's decisions were usually with a higher purpose at play. She hadn't survived and ruled as long as she had without becoming one of the most powerful of their Kind. "Dinnae think that just because you're my Sire, you can make me agree to everything you want. I'm nay the same lassie I used to be. I'm nay just going to stand there and let you hurt me again. I willnae hesitate in tearing your balls off and throwing them to the nearest Nosferatu," she warned. He had to know she wasn't the placid and unassuming girl she was before her Embrace.

"I'm not surprised," he mused, his fingers tangling loosely into her red hair. "I've been in touch with her... not constantly. I know she has a lot more important things to deal with than me, but I ask her pretty regularly how you are. If you're safe, how you're doing with things." And Eala had indicated to him that she would ensure that he didn't stay away from Airlie forever. He just hadn't realized how soon she would make good on that promise. He felt as he stood there that he couldn't touch Airlie enough. He couldn't feel her enough. There would never be enough because she was the piece of him that had always been missing since the day they went their separate ways, and he simply didn't want to live without her again now that he'd felt what it was to be close to her again after so long being apart. There would never be enough of Airlie for him to be satisfied, because she was the other piece of his soul.

"I would never think that," he agreed, giving her a reassuring look and a firm shake of his head. "You're a strong Kindred in your own right, my love. And I know that you've grown much stronger and more controlled under Eala and Rory's tutelage. I'm grateful for them. I don't want you to do everything I want just because I'm your Sire anyway. You always had a fiery edge that I loved about you, even before you were turned. I love you as you are, darling. That will never stop. I just... I need you, Airlie. I can't lose you again. I don't know what that means for us, but I know that much."

Airlie hadn't had any time to prepare herself for this, and of course her senses were super piqued and she was trying to understand what it was she was feeling inside. Last time she saw him, she had been a very young childer and she could have torn him apart because she had been so angry at being taken against her will. She still was, there was no denying that. It had taken a lot of work with both Rory and Ealasaid to use those feelings in a different way. She channelled a lot into her music, but she had to re-learn how to interact as a Kindred. Her human life had been ripped away from her so drastically. She had wanted things like marriage and children, and all that had been taken away from her. He had stolen the most precious things from her, and she had told Rory on the regular that she despised what she was.

It took time to learn that she didn't have to. She still kept enough of her human side that had been obscured by her frenzied emotions. That was the side Rory and Eala helped her nurture again, but it had taken a lot of time. This was throwing her off, though. Had he sensed she was here? She heard about the soul mate thing, but it was so overwhelming. "She is more wise than most of our Kind," she murmured, her eyes not leaving his face. "You think I should just stay here? Leave my home, and everything I've ever known? How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you willnae destroy me first chance you get?"

There was no way this wouldn't be confusing as hell for Airlie, but she was still here, even if she seemed to be unsure and questioning the whole situation pretty strongly. Alistair's every instinct was telling him he needed her. He needed to fuck her, and taste her, and hold her... to just feel her, close to him. He was certain that he couldn't lose her again, but Airlie was definitely not sold just yet. Alistair would have to tread very carefully with her, not forcing his luck, because this could very quickly come back to bite him in the ass, and perhaps almost literally, if he didn't take his time with it instead of rushing. Airlie was no simpering damsel in distress. With Eala and Rory as her teachers, there was no doubt that she would know everything she needed to know to protect herself.

But Alistair had no intentions of harming her. Not in the slightest. All he wanted was to be close to her and treasure the time they had together, even if it was little. He couldn't think about that right now, though. He'd go crazy if he thought too much about being separated from her again when he'd only just found her. "Airlie, I don't know what I think right now," he admitted honestly, meeting and holding her gaze quietly. "I don't know what that would mean for us. I just know that I need you. And I know that you don't trust me, and haven't for a long time. But if I destroy you, Airlie, I'm destroying part of myself. The last thing I would ever want to do is harm you again."

There was an undeniable burst of anger that flared up inside her for finding herself in this unexpected situation where she felt exposed and vulnerable. Her eyes flashed silver and she pushed her hand against his, afforded just a small amount more space between them. As soon as she touched him again, though, the anger warred with the natural instincts that had always been there and her fingers closed around his in a vice-like grip that would have crushed human bones. At first, she didn't say anything. She just held his gaze with a fiery one of her own, almost like she was challenging him to make a wrong move. If he did, there was a huge chance she would kill him. Her responses were as volatile as they used to be, but it was going to be a period of adjustment where she was forced to adapt to being in his presence again. This had to be something Ealasaid was aware of, though maybe that was the whole point. Both she and Rory had trained Airlie with all the vital tools she needed to survive as Kindred, as Toreador. But ultimately, not a single other Kindred on the face of the earth could dictate to another how to respond to their soul mate. Nor would they try.
That was something Airlie had to learn on her own.

He could feel now for himself how strong she was. But he was submitting to her, and she could feel it. He wasn't fighting her. He wasn't trying to hurt her. His words were true, and if they weren't, she would sense it on him. "Why are you here? Why New York City?" she asked, still holding onto his hand. "Do you know of Logan? Of his situation?"

It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to maintain control here, but even the most passionate Toreador sometimes had to get in touch with some level of logic inside when it was important. And right now was probably the most important moment in Alistair's entire life. Airlie could be gone just as quickly as she'd arrived, and Alistair would be damned if he would push her away. He shifted restlessly, but he ddn't fight against her grip on his hand. She wasn't playing games with him, and he was fully aware that any attempt to assert dominance here would be taken as a threat to her. So he maintained a quiet and submissive stance, letting her hold onto him. He had never forgotten her beauty, but as a Toreador, her beauty had only increased. He turned his hands palms up to her, letting her see that he was leaving this entirely up to her, as difficult as that was.

"I was Embraced in New York," he explained. "It's... It's home to me. I was born in Boston, but my whole life... my career and everything... it all started in New York. A part of me will always need to come back here from time to time, but lately, I've just been based here." He paused, his eyes holding hers, willing her to understand just how he was feeling right now. "I do. Logan is a dear friend, as is his lover, Eric."

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"My love was blinded by you."

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