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[desperatebeliever]

Holy fuck, all I want to do is puke in peace and I have two angry bitches having a bitchfight in my hotel room while I'm driving the porcelain bus in the bathroom.

Comments

[kindredrevolutionary]

I tried to stop Jett, honey. I'm sorry.

[desperatebeliever]

Why are they doing this? I don't get it.

[kindredrevolutionary]

It's kind of hard to explain, darling, but I'll do my best. Jett is intensely protective of you because you are his best friend... like a brother to him. And Seamus has very deep feelings for you already, which is a very intense thing for a Kindred. The problem is that they don't know how to deal with each other, because Jett wants to protect you, and there are elements of your relationship with Seamus that he sees as endangering you on some level.

[desperatebeliever]

They can't kill each other! I don't know what to do.

[kindredrevolutionary]

Where are you, love? I can be on my way so fast they won't even see it coming. Don't panic. Just stay calm and I will be there soon.

[desperatebeliever]

At the Marriott near that building you met me near. I don't think they're trying to hurt each other though. It's just... well, I think it's a pissing contest.

[kindredrevolutionary]

A pissing contest? Seriously? Okay, in that case, I will not intervene, but if it gets worse, and you feel that you or they are in danger, please let me know. I'll come close by just in case.

[desperatebeliever]

How did Seamus know something was wrong with me?

[kindredrevolutionary]

You mean to come to your hotel, or did he mention something you didn't know he knew?

[desperatebeliever]

Well, I didn't tell him I was going to see his concert. The guy, Xavier, gave me a ticket. But I felt sick in the middle of it and had to leave. Because, you know, don't want to be that commoner who hurls in Carnegie Hall. When he came over, he told me he knew I left and wanted to check on me.

[kindredrevolutionary]

Among our Kind, we have an ability to sense a great many things, including the presence of absence of people. Especially when those people are close to us, or special to us for whatever reason. For example, in a group of people, I can sense when there are mortals among them, or Kindred, but when it comes to Kindred I know, especially those with whom I share a bond, like Ben or Jett, I know when they are near me.

[desperatebeliever]

So, it's different to humans. Like, we sort of have to get to know each other before we figure out any sort of feelings for them. You guys just know? That's freaky. But why me? There's nothing special about me.

[kindredrevolutionary]

Not necessarily on a falling in love level or whatever, it really depends on the person. But we do have instant connections sometimes, and Seamus felt something like that when he met you.

[desperatebeliever]

He knows when I there, doesn't he? I saw it when I went to his rehearsal. He couldn't see me, but he stopped singing when I walked in.

[kindredrevolutionary]

Yes, he does. He senses you.

[desperatebeliever]

I don't want him and Jett to hate each other. I feel like I'm causing all this mess. I shouldn't have come.

[kindredrevolutionary]

It is not you causing the mess. It is a couple of strong willed Kindred who have to figure things out for themselves. They will. I hope. Just give them a bit of time. Jett is glad you're here, and so is Seamus. In fact, so am I. No one can fault you for coming to find your best friend.

[desperatebeliever]

I came to say goodbye to him. But then you were there.

[kindredrevolutionary]

What was your first thought when you heard what I was explaining to Jett?

[desperatebeliever]

That I kind of wanted to go in there and tell you to go fuck yourself. But when you told Jett you could help him, I didn't want to interfere in anything that might help him.

[kindredrevolutionary]

And now that you see what Jett became part of, do you feel like it was a help or harm to him?

[desperatebeliever]

I know it helped him. There's just no help for me with any of it. I'm just going to cut my losses.

[kindredrevolutionary]

I disagree. No one is beyond help, darling. It's just a matter of finding it. May I ask you something personal?

[desperatebeliever]

Yeah, I guess.

[kindredrevolutionary]

How does being with Seamus make you feel, as opposed to the rest of the time, when you're feeling miserable and maybe as if you'd rather just not live anymore?

[desperatebeliever]

Like I just want to be near him. Like I forget all the stuff that hurts, better than the pills even do. The pain stops.

[kindredrevolutionary]

Then you must hold onto that, darling. I will try my best to explain that to Jett somehow. He won't want you in pain if there's something that can help you not experience it.

[desperatebeliever]

Can he help someone who needs it more than me, though? What about that guy with cancer?

[kindredrevolutionary]

Not really, because his connection is not with Brodie, but with you.

[desperatebeliever]

I'm not worth it.

[kindredrevolutionary]

I'm afraid that is not your choice to make, darling. Someone else is looking after Brodie. Seamus wants to look after you.

[desperatebeliever]

I don't want him and Jett to hurt each other. It's like Jett can't control it. I mean, what is it like? Just when the feelings get too much and you don't know how to think straight?

[kindredrevolutionary]

It feels like there is absolutely no control left, and you have no choice but to do what you feel instinctually you must do.

[desperatebeliever]

I know what that feels like. Probably not in the same way, though.

[kindredrevolutionary]

The feelings may well be the same, even if the outcome is not.

[desperatebeliever]

I feel like I've messed everything up coming here.

[kindredrevolutionary]

Don't feel that way, darling. Your being here is a good thing... Especially for Jett.

[desperatebeliever]

I just lost it when I heard you talking to him, and I think it freaked me about telling him of his dad.

[kindredrevolutionary]

You know what... I never asked. How did you even know he was here?

[desperatebeliever]

His dad told me. His dad was only on a service pension, and he was waiting on a loan to fly over to New York to be with Jett, but he didn't have enough for staying there. Before he got that, he got news from the hospital Jett was dead. If he was just brought back to Australia, all of his father's expenses would have been paid, but because you wanted him in a different country, Jett's dad was kind of left without recourse. Which I'm not blaming you for. It's just bureaucracy. So after I... fucked up, I told his dad I'd come to see him and make sure he was okay.

[kindredrevolutionary]

Christ. His poor dad. After you "fucked up"?

[desperatebeliever]

He wasn't well since he heard Jett's mum passed. He had a lot of a guilt. Maybe he's at some peace now. Yeah, I had this mental breakdown and overdosed at a party my dad had.